When two persons enter a relationship, it is normal that conflicts and misunderstandings arise due to individual preferences. The couple can decide whether to end their relationship and settle through divorce or to solve the problems themselves by going to couples counseling.
Couples counseling have different names – marriage counseling, couples therapy or relationship counseling. Whatever the term used, the ultimate goal is to help couples identify the cause of their conflicts and find solutions to resolve it through different approaches.
Things To Do
Once you decide to go and see a counselor, the first question that the counselor would probably ask is to know why you are there or what’s going on with your life. These are first assessments to allow both of you provide information about the current relationship.
It is always not easy to tell someone about your private lives in the presence of your partner, that’s why there will be instances for individual sessions to make this possible. Here are some tips on how to deal with this situation:
- Be honest and stick to the correct details. Your counselor will plainly do not know what is going on between the two of and you may provide irrelevant information that will make your partner terrible in the eyes of the counselor. This will not work. Be mindful that you will also have the chance to sit down with your partner and talk again with the counselor. So, if you are lying, this will be an added injury on your part.
The latest research from Graham et al. (2009) shows that couples who are more considerate and rational during a fight release lower amounts of stress-related proteins. This suggests that rational communication between partners can ease the impact of marital conflict on the immune system. —
- Be open and extend your patience. The mere fact that both of you decide to see a counselor for your relationship problems, you are both hoping that this can work. However, going through the process will be a struggle. Your patience will be tested along the way.
- Let your counselor know what are you trying to work out. This is setting of objectives and to make this happen, both of you should be on the same page and work through it.
- Prepare yourself. As mentioned, going to counseling is not a pleasant thing to do. Unhappy events, unexpected realizations, and unboxed emotions will be brought up, and this can put a lot of tension on yourself and your partner. Anticipate these things to happen and be strong.
The sessions will not only take place within the confines of the office. Online counseling is the new trend right now, and many online therapy sites can provide couples counseling while they are at home or living apart. Some couple prefers this set-up because they can quickly recall or discuss the problems since their confrontations and arguments happen in the house, so they feel that they can express them outwardly. BetterHelp is an online resource center with professional counselors that can help you with your relationship problems.
When we protect our vulnerabilities with self-obsession, usually in the form of entitlement, resentment, anger, superiority, or self-righteousness, our perspectives become narrow, rigid, and devaluing of others. — Steven Stosny, Ph.D.
There is no definitive outcome on whether the counseling will be successful or not towards your relationship. Remember the role of the counselor is to assist, mediate and advise. The efforts will come from both of you whether you want your relationship to work out. The success of the counseling will depend on how you accept each other and embrace every idiosyncrasy and even practice tolerance as the years go by.