Single-parent families are ubiquitous nowadays, either headed by a mother, a father, or grandparent taking care of their grandchildren.
Single parenting can be stressful both for the adult and the child. Although single parents are expecting to function as a regular nuclear family, realistically, they would not no matter how hard they try, and often this is where the problem arises.
Downside Of Flying Solo
Responsibilities of raising a child solo are overwhelming, juggling your time between taking care of your kid, maintaining your job in order to pay the bills, household chores, and not to mention your social life. Single parents face more pressures and problems that a regular two-parent family does not have to go through.
Researchers from the Kinsey Institute discovered single parents of children younger than five date and are sexually active as often as singles without children — and more so than single parents of older children. —
Perks Of A Single Parent
Being a single mother myself, I can positively say that being single is not all about worries, difficulties, and problems. There may be some who feel pity for single parents like me, but there are also those who wonder how bravely I was able to do it, raising two kids, sending them to school, and providing for them well.
There is no question that my kids missed having a complete family. They even experienced being bullied for having no father figure in their lives, but together, with the love, communication, and cooperation, we were able to surpass that difficult stage of our lives.
Rather than staying in a bad marriage, I have decided it would be better to raise my kids single-handedly, just focusing on them and myself. And there are even more things worth celebrating being single.
I Am In Authority
The words I say are my rules. There is no one to contradict my decisions, and so the kids do not get confused who to follow. Decision making in raising kids is a big responsibility as it will determine their discipline in everything they will do in their lives now and in the future. I am strict in some aspects but lenient in other parts of their growing up years. But when I say it’s enough, then my kids know it’s enough, no argument.
Instilling in them early on that I am in authority probably is one reason why they learn to respect any authorities either in school, at work, and even in the society.
No Chaotic Home Environment
My kids grew up in a house where there are no nagging and fewer arguments because there is no husband to nag. We may have little discussions, but we have learned to settle issues with no shouting and no angry outburst. And because there are established rules to follow, there is less fighting on who is going to do the chores. They follow curfews as they do not want to deal with the consequences I had set.
I have taught them early on that we should work as a team if we would like all to be successful in our lives as a family even though our resources are limited.
Children don’t need to know why you divorced. Barring abuse, untreated substance addiction, severe mental health issues, or other child-endangering factors, your children still need to spend time with, love, and respect both parents, even if one has been acting less than lovely or trustworthy. — Tanya Ruckstuhl-Valenti, LICSW, MSW
The Room Is All Mine
Because I am single (but not alone), I do not need to share my room with anyone, but my kids only from time to time. I can freely indulge myself in the comfort of my bed, eat there, watch movies, and have my cats sleep with me. I am a bit of a neatnik, and my husband’s things often in wallow disarray would result in disagreement.
Every Other Weekend Is My Home Alone Day
My kids have to visit their grandparents every other weekend, and so I can have the bliss of uninterrupted afternoon to myself on these occasions. No cleaning, no cooking, and I can stay in my bed the whole day if I want to.
My Kids Did Well
When I decided to be a single mom, many raised their eyebrows and even concluded that my kids would not grow up decent. But we proved them wrong for my kids grew up to be my pride and joy, and I am very thankful to my kids that they did so, without stealing, doing drugs, or joining any groups that are a nuisance to the community. They know how much I love them and how willing I’ll do anything at any cost for their welfare.
My kids are my inspiration to live my life to the fullest even as a single parent. They knew very well that they are the strong wind beneath my delicate wings. The wind that allows me to soar high for our family of three.
I think kids growing up feeling loved and recognized in a peaceful and disciplined environment is better than raising them in a house with mother and father, but full of anger and resentment. It was hard for my kids and me at first, but learning to face our situation allowed us to move on and do the best we can to live a life that we will all be grateful for. They have grown without any anger towards their father or me. They were supportive of us both and respected the lives we chose to live.