Almost every person who became successful in their chosen field had experienced failure at one point in their lives. Failure of various forms has provided them with valuable benefits that helped them develop a mindset that is fitting to a person who can be successful. It is a mindset that allowed them to keep on pushing forward to reach their goal despite the odds.
Defeat is how a person initially looks at failure. He thinks of it as his flaw, an inadequacy, but it is actually okay. What is not okay is dwelling on it as it will get you nowhere.
…couples complain about too little support far more often than too much; about two-thirds of men and at least 80 percent of women wanted more support from their spouses. However, it was the one-third of men and women who received too much informational support – usually in the form of unwanted advice-giving – that had the highest rate of marital decline. — Joni E Johnston Psy.D.
As a partner of someone who just experienced failure, you have a role to play in order for your partner to recover from the crash. It would be better for him if you will stay by his side and help him embrace failure as part of life’s journey.
Here are some ways on how you can help your partner bounce back from failure and succeed in his chosen field.
Make it known to him that failure happens to everyone, and he is not an exception.
At one point in your life, you will experience it, and that is the reality of life. If your mind is set on the thinking that you will never experience it, then it will be much more painful once it happens rather than expecting that it would cross your path inevitably. Whether you are aware or not that failure is just around the corner waiting for you to make one wrong move, your reaction could be the same. The difference is you will be able to respond quickly, and you can adjust without much trouble to correct the problem.
Be sure to be there to assist him when he is ready to start over.
Learn From Your Mistakes
Make him see how he could use this as an opportunity to learn because failure can teach him a lot of things, from the wrong choices he had made, the reason why he made such a decision, and all others.
A person with a positive mindset can lay open what had gone wrong and will make sure to learn from it.
When you see that he is contemplating giving up, inspire him by saying words such as, “bounce back and make it big.” Assure him that you are just there to support him.
Take The Failure As A Challenge
Let him see that it is nothing personal. It may be some kind of a shortcoming, but it is to challenge him to find his strength. Because life is a race with lots of obstacles that he needs to overcome until he finally makes it to the finish line.
When he is not threatened by failure, then there’s no challenge in going after his dream.
Many big companies, influential personalities, people in business, creators, writers, and other experts in their chosen field failed or nearly failed, but they did not give up. The struggle was never easy. Some even waited for years to be able to get back to their previous status. It was hard, but they were able to do it and unwaveringly surpassed what they had done before they made the mistake that caused them to fail.
Our friends and family give us space where we can let go of our anger or hurt through the sharing of our concerns and disappointments. There’s an old saying that counselors keep close to their hearts, “A burden shared is a burden halved.” — Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.
For myself, my husband has failed many times in his life. And because I believe that in every man’s success is a woman, I lived up to it. I stayed by his side even in the lowest of the lowest point. I supported him emotionally, spiritually, and financially where I did two jobs just to be able to help him also with the financial aspect. There are times when he would push me away, but I did not let him. I did not want to see him drowning himself in self-pity and depression.
I was his compass when he was lost. I was his cane when he could not walk upright so he would not fall. I was his shelter when the storm was bombarding him. I, figuratively and literally, became what he needed me to be because we are one. He and I became one the moment we tied the knot in the presence of God. His troubles are my troubles, and his failures are my failures. And in the end, his success has become not only my success but our family’s success.