I have no value whatsoever for this man. He does not see me as his beloved wife; not even as a human being. I don’t know why he has come to this point, or why we have reached this level of indifference. My mind keeps on repeating the past and our history. I am trying to remember what happened in those twenty years that we’ve been married, and in between our five children. How did he become like this to me? Where did it all go wrong? Will I ever get the answers to my questions?
You do not have to become a therapist to realize that you can give as many advice as you want, but not everyone will listen to you. Take the case of almost every parent out there as an example. When their teenage kids are dealing with a love problem, they sometimes don’t get heard because the children say that “they don’t know how they feel.” If mom or dad advises the kids to choose better friends and let go of the current ones, the latter think they are ridiculous.
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, student, or employee, though, you need to emulate the traits of a therapist. To be specific, try not to yell at someone’s face, no matter how frustrated you may be. Mental health professionals know better than to do that. Aside from it perhaps being against their oath, the shouting can only rattle someone’s brain further and prevent them from seeing reason. That may even push them to make more irrational decisions, to the extent that their lives become at risk.
Sometimes the people who have the most words in an argument have the most impoverished vocabularies for their emotions. — Lois V. Nightingale, PhD
Don’t Preach If A Person’s Not In A Good Mood
The first thing to remember is to make sure that the individual you are trying to show some sense to is not having a rough day already. For instance, their lunch order did not come late. There was not a lot of traffic even during rush hour. Their exam results were more than passable.
If you don’t wait for them to cheer up, the person may think that you are insensitive of their feelings. They may not have the energy to snap back at you, but they can ignore you. It can happen regardless if you’re the boss and they are only your employee, considering upset people feel like they have nothing else to lose in such desperate times. So, if your goal is to help, try to do it when an individual is in a good mood.
No matter how well you thought through the words you shared, the way you listened to them will make or break your ability to change how they feel and think. — Marcia Reynolds Psy.D.
Avoid Saying Someone’s Views Are Wrong
In reality, you know the right way to solve a colleague’s or loved one’s issue; that’s why you are trying to help. You may have experienced it in the past or know someone who has. Furthermore, you may be a professional who wants to offer a free consultation to a distressed person who is close to you.
Despite how wrong someone’s views are, however, you should avoid saying that blatantly. For one, it will hurt their feelings, to the point that your relationship will come to an end. Secondly, they may sulk and try to take a jab at you using your history. Worse, you may force them to keep on doing what they should not be doing because you have gotten them angry.
Just chill and pick every word that comes out of your mouth, therefore, to avoid giving a troublesome individual more problems.
We need to learn how to act as a pressure relief valve for others, including family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and strangers. We need to learn how to reduce our own pressure, but also how to help others release the anger and fear in safer ways. — Nancy Berns Ph.D.
Let It Be
The last advice when someone does not want to listen to you is to let it be. Especially with adults, you cannot tie them up or ground them if they refuse to see a situation in your perspective. All the veins can show on your neck, and you won’t still get heard if they have already closed their mind and ears.
The only thing that you can do is to allow people to realize the right path on their own. Will it mean they may make mistakes and fall? Maybe, maybe not. Will they say, “I wish I have listened to you sooner” in the end? Perhaps. There is no way to predict how someone’s life will turn out.
What matters is that you don’t sneer when a person sees how right you are and uttering, “I told you so.” You may have known what to do all along, but you should be happy that they have plucked up the courage to find their way. That is honestly commendable since not everyone seems determined enough to do anything to alter their reality for the better.
To Sum It All Up
There will always be at least one stubborn person in your life. It can be your aging parent, growing child, or new coworker. You want to help them see that what they are doing is unacceptable, that there is another way to accomplish things. Kudos to you for being willing to spend your time helping them, but you cannot force your views to anyone. As mentioned above, you need to wait till they are in a good mood, not say outright that they’re wrong, and let them be if they still refuse to listen.
Stress and pressure are indeed the worst enemies you can have in your life. It ruins your sense of worthiness, motivation, and even emotional and mental state. It deals with too much life toxicities that are sometimes way impossible to handle. It supports the buildup of anxiety and depression, as well. There are a lot of negativities associated with it, and a psychologist would not argue with that. But with all the drama, irregularities, and struggles you may experience in life, there is still one essential thing you need to remember. That is to take things slowly.
Adults, who realize that both bad and good times pass, have the advantage here over teens, who often suffer greatly after new adversities and wonder if they will be happy again. — Teresa Trower, LMHC
Admittedly, there are things in life that require immediate resolution. Meaning, you need to make instant decisions with or without thoroughly thinking about the consequences of that particular issue. It seems pretty tough, though. But no matter how hard you avoid it, it will always go down to you making a move. However, it is not always the case. There are times that even if the situation requires your immediate action, you can still play pause and take things slowly. You can have the chance to evaluate the factors to make the whole scenario worthwhile.
The Biggest Mistake
Would you agree if people would say that the biggest mistakes in life happen when you rush things? Indeed, it is. When you make a decision that you know can change your life forever, there is no turning back. There is no rewind, edit, and delete portion. With that said, all actions and decisions on a particular matter stay in it. That includes having a family and getting married, deciding what career path to take, taking people in and out of your life, and even changing your whole perception with personality development. Truthfully, addressing essential things in life is not as easy as 1,2, and 3. There are tons of reflections to take and sacrifices to make. Most of the times, things you want are often out of your control. There is always an instance of you giving up and doing things all over again.
It seems that, as a culture, we’ll do almost anything to take our attention away from the moment we’re living in with all its unsettling, in-your-face, nonnegotiable reality. — Alicia Muñoz, LPC
As what all people know, irrational decisions are often the cause of failed success. There is too much dependency, blame, mishandling, and loss of hope. Yes, there are circumstances that instant approach can become a game changer. However, the process of success does not entirely follow an order. Therefore, the particular move becomes useless. Things can change quickly without prior notice, and whether you like or not, you will still have to create a decision that genuinely works. With that, the automatic creation of resolution will not guarantee an actual and positive outcome. Thus, whatever it is that you think will work today, will not necessarily often create a difference in the future.
What You Can Do
So before you can even sour-grape and regret the things you already did or did not do, you might as well think things thoroughly. You can start by evaluating your goals in life. Learn to check out the importance of your capability in handling problems related to financial stability, career growth, community involvement, even relationship advancement, and so on. There are significant things you can do when you know how to use your time and energy wisely. It is essential to note that when it comes to handling life, relationships, and career decisions, multiple evaluations are needed. Instead of jumping into conclusion, it is better to take a few steps back and reflect on what possible outcome an action may serve.
We offer comfort and soothing in some way, whether it’s a healing glance, a loving touch, a supportive hug, or kind words. The gift of comforting and soothing stimulates the soothing/contentment system in the body and provides a sense of security that helps tone down negative emotions. Beverly Engel L.M.F.T.
No one said that life would be easy. Everything about it often starts with a mess. There are particular things that you might not like but have to do because you have to. But no matter how harsh and unpredictable life can get, you are still the owner of it. Meaning, only you can make a difference. It is only you who can alter what is in front of you and decide on every piece of it in aim for the betterment of yourself. Yes, stress and anxiety are always part of the process. But those are not enough reasons for you to stay out of track. Be mindful that whatever your decisions are going to be, you need to take things slowly. Besides, patience is always a virtue.
While some stress is normal and even healthy, many people today are over-stressed, and, more concerning, are not adequately mitigating this increased stress load. The negative effects of unmitigated stress are alarming. — Gregory L. Jantz Ph.D.
If there is one thing that you must always remember, it is the importance of taking time to rest so that you can de-stress. Keep in mind that the presence of anxiety and stress in your life can have adverse effects. At the same time, it can even affect your mental health, which can be bad for your overall well-being. Do not worry because there are several strategies on how to take the stress away; one of the things that you can do is to go on travel or trip.
Below are the tips and tricks to remember if you want to travel for the sole purpose of de-stressing and to find yourself again:
Plan The Trip
While life is all about spontaneity, it is still best if you will take time to plan your trip ahead of time. Do not rely on spontaneous itineraries that you will make while you are on the plane. Make sure to learn more about the place that you will be visiting you that you can set your expectations. As much as possible, book the hotel earlier so that you can get the best deals and offers. Remember that the purpose of your trip is to de-stress, which is why everything must be taken cared of ahead of time.
Do It Alone
Do not be afraid to go on a solo trip. Take note that many counties and cities are now safe for women who want to travel on their own. Avoid tagging along with a family member, your loved one or a friend so that you can enjoy a moment of solitude. Being away from these people will make you realize how much they mean in your life. There are many fun or exciting activities that you can do if you are going to travel solo. Just be sure to be smart enough to plane everything before you visit the area.
Make a point to practice even breathing throughout your journey and, when possible, take time to do light stretching and focused deep breathing. This will help your body and mind relax. — Deanna Richards, LMHC
Bring Extra Cash
As much as possible, bring cash more than the budget that you intended for the trip. Use this money as a buffer in case you exceed your budget. Take note that there is a high tendency that you would go beyond the cash that you set aside from the trip. As such, be sure to bring some extra money with you so that you have something to use in case something comes up. This tip is essential if you are traveling on your own and in a foreign country. Whether you like it or not, the reality is that money is crucial when it comes to traveling.
Do Relaxing Activities
When you have arrived at the area of destination, make sure that your first activity is to rest in your room. Enjoy the moment of being alone in a four-walled room away from your office desk or business table. You will be amazed at how doing this can set your mood right for the entire trip. Once you are done with this, it is time to look for other relaxing activities such as having a massage from a local spa or attending a yoga glass Do something that is out of your comfort zone and enjoys it with all your heart.
Keep Your Phone Away
As much as possible, make an effort to avoid your duties and obligations at work or business. Remind yourself why you have decided to travel in the first place. Never let anyone stop you from having a good time in a different place. An excellent way of making sure no one can disturb you is to keep your phone away. Avoid checking your messages and calls, unless you believe they are urgent and necessary. If possible, ask your friends or family members to call you during the period of your travel. Tell them that they can only ring you in times of emergency.
If you do not put yourself on your list of things to take care of, you will tire easily and your resilience will weaken. — Karen Kleiman MSW, LCSW
Travelling is only one of the various options that you can try if you want to de-stress. There are other strategies that you can try or check (see more here: sheknows.com and mom365.com. Do not worry if going on a trip is quite impossible at the moment for your schedule or budget. You can try other de-stressing tips such as keeping yourself away from toxic people, eating right and following a balanced diet, dedicating your time for meditation or exercising regularly. All these can take your anxiety away.
Anxiety chooses no one. It can take place anywhere and at any time. And the more this condition becomes an inconvenience is when it strikes while you are at work in your office. Being in your office can hit some nerves up especially if some presentations or reports need to be attended immediately. But when your anxiety steps up to an uncontrollable level and gets out of hand, then, you will need the help there is.
In the U.S., stress has reached epidemic proportions, with 65% of workers reporting chronic levels of stress. According to a national survey put forth by the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA), anxious employees frequently report difficulties managing everyday problems; setting and meeting deadlines; managing others; maintaining personal relationships, and participating in regularly scheduled meetings. — Kristi Tackett-Newburg, Ph.D., LIMHP, CPC
Putting up a goal and setting up the right attitude is the fundamentals of obtaining success. There are a lot of sacrifices that you need to consider as well tough decisions to make. Sometimes it requires letting go of people that don’t contribute to it at all. It can be a close friend, a family member, a spouse, etc. There are times that you’ll struggle, feel pain, and break. Yes, it’s inconsistent and exhausting most of the times, but eventually, hardships and sacrifices unquestionably pay off. You need to determine how to deal with stressors and become more open to ideas. But how would you do that if you don’t know what the hindrances are? You might want to start to evaluate the factors that take you away from reaching your goal.
Seeing other people around you reaching their success should start to motivate you. That includes your competitors. The way other individuals handle their objectives should become your inspiration and not something that will make you question your capabilities. You need to learn from them and allow yourself to understand the right strategies that you can also apply to your situation. Stop wasting your time looking at them at comparing yourself with their achievements. It will only sidetrack you from accomplishing your progress.
A lot of people fail because they have the habit of making excuses. Don’t allow yourself to become one of them. If you make a terrible decision and screw things up, stand up and own it. If something you do doesn’t turn out as planned, avoid making excuses. Instead, look for the cause of the problem and start addressing it. If you keep putting things away from where they should be, situations automatically get mixed up. So before you say something and reason out for the wrong things that are in front of you, continue to learn from the roots of it.
Most of us achieve our goals one small step at a time. Stress-management is no different. It’s not an all or nothing venture. Every little act of self-care contributes to less stress, better health, and happier relationships. — Sharon Martin, LCSW
Stock Up Learning
Your age, experience, and level of success are not enough reasons to stop you from learning. Success requires ongoing progress, and the more you thrive hard, the more you reach its mastery. But when you get stuck up and don’t allow knowledge to fill in, you will end up losing everything. It is okay to admit that you are incapable of knowing things. Use it as an inspiration to see things differently. Never assume that your position right now will permanently stay because it will not.
Looking back too often on the things that you didn’t achieve can make you lose focus. When you keep on thinking about the failures you had in the past, you’ll never be able to concentrate on what’s currently essential. Instead of blaming yourself from the wrong decisions you have made in the past, look for ways to maneuver the obstacles around your success. Put in mind that there’s no way you can bring things back. Therefore, the only way to achieve your goal is to push forward and never look back. Use your mistakes as a guide and practice picturing out the future.
Certainly pride is felt when we finish a valued task. Needless task delay undermines this sense of accomplishment and pride. — Timothy A Pychyl Ph.D.
Associating with negative individuals make you create more complaints, excuses, and negative outlook in life. There’s a need to avoid these individuals at all cost. These people’s negativity can hurt your mental health because they remove you from your focus. With that, it impacts your potential and makes you lose control of your decision-making skills and ability to find solutions. These individuals are cancers to your success. Instead of keeping them around you, surround yourself with like-minded persons that encourage and inspire you to work on your objectives.
Fear of Change
Some people live their lives in doing the same things over and over again. If you are one of them, then expect wonderful things will never come in your way. The lack of willingness to build and adjust on your plans will never allow you to reach a goal. Since success is a continuous process, a stagnant strategy doesn’t allow possible opportunities. Instead of being scared of the inconsistency of success, use it as a tool for interventions.
Fear of failure can be paralyzing. People may turn down new opportunities and opt out of everything from a new job to a new relationship because they are too afraid that they will fail. — Kurt Smith, Psy.D., LMFT, LPCC, AFC
If you let your bark becomes more significant than your bite, you’ll only end up doing nothing. Successful people don’t just sit back and talk about things they want to do; they work on it. These individuals plan, follow through, address issues, and conquer success. If you keep on blabbering and wait for things to happen, then your goals are useless. Instead of opening your mouth and continuously talk about what you want to achieve, start making progress. Find ways to deliver your plans and continue to work hard.
Every process of success requires determination, motivation, perseverance, and focus. Allow failure to become part of your growth and learn to start things over. Never allow these things to take away the spotlight.
Did you know that the secret to a happy life and an empowered self is reaching your potential? You can never achieve success, happiness, and contentment if you failed to reach your self-potential. Because of this, it is proper to say that being ambitious is actually not a bad thing. It is entirely okay to aspire for greatness in this world because you deserve it.
If you are reading this article, then chances are you want to fulfill your goals and to reach your potential. Well, consider yourself lucky because we are going to list down some of the effective methods that you can try to help and guide you in the process. Here are some of the items to remember:
Know Yourself First
The initial step that you need to complete is to find a way to gain a better understanding of yourself. Keep in mind that knowing yourself is crucial in achieving your full potential. You cannot just decide in aspiring for self-potential without knowing what makes you happy, what motivates and inspires you or even what causes you sadness and grief. All these things must be clearly identified so that it will be easier on your part to do the tasks necessary for your ultimate objective.
Self-care, as therapists like to call it, is something you do just for you. It’s reading a great novel, scrapbooking, buying yourself flowers, a walk with a friend. It’s really whatever refreshes and energizes you. — Sharon Martin, LCSW
Find The Right People
Your relationship with the people around you can affect the way you look at the future as well as the value you attach to reaching your potential. As such, it is crucial for you to surround yourself with like-minded individuals who can inspire you to keep going and in making things happen. As much as possible, avoid those who can drag you down with their negative characters or personalities. Instead, find the right people who have nothing but good influence over you.
Making the right decisions, whether that is hashing out how artificial intelligence will evolve or ensuring naval ships are ready on time takes practice. — Christine Haskell Ph.D.
Many challenges will come your way as you struggle in your journey to achieving your full potential. What is important is for you to remain tough no matter what happens. Never allow any person, thing or circumstance to bring you down. Be bigger than your personal problems, issues or concerns. Be prepared for whatever will come your way so that you can choose to continue moving forward to better tomorrows. No matter what life throws at you, find a way to fight back and survive.
Open Up To Others
Take note that it is also significant for you to learn how to open up to others and make them a part of your life. Do not hesitate to talk to the people you love and trust. In opening up to them about your aspirations, goals, and plans, you are giving them an opportunity to join you in the journey. Your conversations with them will guide you to make better decisions or choices in life. Learn from their experiences and try to apply it to your own life. You will be amazed at how these individuals can transform your life into something more fulfilling.
Explanations help clarify the circumstances of a particular event. Explanations are less emotional and less pressured than excuses. — Jenise Harmon, MSW, LISW-S
Achieving one’s full potential must become your life’s mission. Start your journey today.
We hustle and bustle through our days, often forgetting that these passing hours, weeks, and months are what constitute our lives. — Teyhou Smyth Ph.D., LMFT
Burnout – yes, that feeling where you feel you’ve been burned up from the inside out. We all have this sense of something we just don’t have a name for, but I believe most, if not all, have experienced burnout one way or another.
Working from home has a lot of upsides. That includes having the freedom to create your own workspace, something that you can truly say your own. Aside from this, however, you need to make sure your home office is a place that encourages productive work. After all, it isn’t just your will that affects how you work but your surrounding as well.