Marriage takes both maturity and skills from both partners, plus good matching. Partner choice does matter. — Susan Heitler Ph.D.
Going through a stressful marriage can break your heart into a million broken pieces. It can make you question your decision of marrying your husband in the first place. Worse, the situation may even make you consider getting a divorce. It is such a sad reality. Fortunately, there is something else that you can do to save your marriage before it becomes too late to even get BetterHelp therapists involved.
It may seem like stress is an external force — something that happens to you, such as a rude driver, a work deadline, or the illness of a loved one. As a result, it may seem like there’s really nothing you can do about your stress, but this simply isn’t the case. — Melissa Samartano, PhD, LMHC, RYT
Relaxation is essential in one’s health and well-being. It also restores body and mind in order to further excel in life. Inability to manage and handle stress will lead to various diseases such as depression, lifestyle disease like hypertension and cancer, weight gain and an overall feeling of discontent. The state of relaxation is achievable with these steps in mind.
Acknowledge The Existence Of Stress
Stress in acute stages is actually good for us. It gives us the adrenaline pump to beat deadlines and cram for an exam the next day. In a sense, it provides motivation and excitement to one’s life as long as a person can find the right balance and can manage the stress. The signs that you are too stressed:
You continuously experience body tension which is often manifested as headaches, neck aches, backaches and fatigue
You feel overwhelmed because you have a lot of things going on in your life
You have difficulty sleeping and feel tired or less rested upon waking up
You are eating unhealthily either too much, too little or opting for fast food and processed food.
You can’t recall the last time you had a hearty laugh, and you noticed that your sense of humor is out the window.
Allot A Specific Time For Relaxation
After accepting that you are under a lot of stress and it’s starting to control your life, it is now the perfect time to allocate time for de-stressing and relaxation. You can start by accepting these facts:
You Are Not A Superhero
Many cultural and religious beliefs put value in hard work. Moreover, technology is keeping us connected to work 24/7. Hard work is a dedication to the task at hand at the given hours in the workplace. It doesn’t need to control you when you are at home or during your off-hours.
Think about an experience you have had in which you felt your five senses were thoroughly engaged: a wonderful meal, a beautiful place or a time in which you felt exceptionally delighted. Now close your eyes breathe deeply and evenly and for two minutes re-experience that in all five of your senses. — Margaret Wehrenberg Psy.D.
Sleep Is An Essential Part Of Life
At rest, your mind recuperates and continues to learn. Also, sleep restores and rejuvenates the body and has an impact on the immune system of a person. Do not sacrifice your sleeping hours for work.
Recognition Of The Optimal Ways You Relax Will Take Time
It will involve a lot of trial and error but finding the right mixture of activities that will help you relax is worth it.
Schedule Relaxing Time Is Effective
It is best to consider relaxation as a client’s appointment. Make sure your family member is aware and respects your ME time.
Relax In The Physical Sense
Consume Healthy Food Options
Avoid processed and high in sugar food. Always, opt for organic and wholesome fruits and vegetables.
Try Different Breathing Techniques
This is the easiest way to calm yourself when you feel like panicking. It is a distraction technique that focuses on the flow of air.
This willingness to be challenged—to temporarily be with unpleasant thoughts or bodily sensations we experience both within and outside the context of exercise—is akin to receiving an immunization that protects from stressors. Much like a vaccine, exercise artificially introduces manageable amounts of stress to the mind and body in a controlled manner. — Melissa Stringer, LMHC, DCC, NCC
Go For A Massage
Studies show massages lowers the release of cortisol in the body.
Relax In Mental State
Failures and disappointments are always a subjective concept. Always see the brighter side of things.
Let Go Of All The Guilt
Forgive yourself for all the shortcomings, missed deadlines, and mistakes. You are after all human. Learn from these circumstances and improve yourself.
Master The Art Of Prioritizing
Always ground yourself about the important things in life.
Smile And Don’t Take Life To Seriously
The advice of some BetterHelp experts is to smile and laugh even during the hard times. After all, you are still alive and tomorrow is another day filled with possibilities and opportunities.
Sleep disorders affect a lot more people than most people realize — up to 20 percent of Americans in any given year suffer from a sleep problem, according to the National Institutes of Health. Many people who suffer from problems sleeping don’t even realize it. — John M. Grohol, Psy.D.
If you have had insomnia the past few days, you might also be dealing with the possibility of having persecutory thoughts in the future. Research findings present that persons who have problems going to sleep are five times more like to develop paranoia. Paranoid thoughts are characterized by a false belief that someone or something is out to get you. Harm is the foundation of fear and the person having these ideas would also be on guard and distrustful towards other persons or situations.
The relationship of insomnia to paranoia could be seen as the brain’s supply, and regulations of neurochemicals and hormones are altered due to lack of rest and hyperfunction of the mind while awake. Paranoid thoughts are the product of increased dopamine and adrenaline levels thus the person is hyperalert and hypervigilant all the time. Paranoid behaviors can be lessened to a minimum or eradicated if proper sleeping habits are practiced. This article will list down and discuss several ways on how to achieve good sleep.
Keep A Regular Schedule
Discipline yourself to sleep and wake up the same time every day even on weekends. This method is teaching your brain to look for rest on a specific schedule. Once you established this, catching zees is just a walk in the park. Also, avoid afternoon naps. Power naps which only takes 15 to 30 minutes are sufficient to recharge your body until all the tasks laid out for the day are accomplished. Longer than 30 minutes can disrupt your ability to fall asleep at the right time at night.
Sleep homeostasis balances the body’s need for sleep in relation to how long a person has been awake. If an individual loses sleep, the body produces adenosine, a naturally occurring sleep-regulating substance that increases a person’s need for sleep. — Rick Nauert PhD
Create A Conducive Environment To Sleep
There is a reason why television is placed in the family room or living room and not in the bedroom. Do not rationalize that watching TV can put you to sleep. The blue light emanating from the TV stimulates the brain to stay awake. This is also true with digital gadgets such as tablets and mobile phones. Putting them off can do you more good.
Also, you can enhance your ability to sleep if you place some aromatherapy scents like lavender oils, dimming the room, improve room temperature – not too cold or warm, and listening to a soothing music or nature sounds.
One useful tool for tracking sleeping patterns which can lead to recognizing other associated barriers to a good night’s sleep can be keeping a sleep diary. When looked at closely in therapy, this can lead to new insights and, consequently, improved sleep. — Marni Amsellem, PhD
Believe it or not, certain foods can prevent you from sleeping. Caffeine is one of them. It is advisable not to drink coffee, caffeine-containing foods and drinks, and cocoa products later in the afternoon. Drinking alcoholic beverages can make you drowsy at first, but it can stimulate the brain thereby making you awake in the remainder of the night. To counteract this, there are foods that you can take to help you sleep. Of course, you probably know this already, nonetheless we recommend drinking one glass of warm milk before going to bed is a sure-fire method because if the tryptophan content in the milk. This compound helps the release of melatonin thus making you sleepy. Chamomile tea is also being recommended as it promotes relaxation and calms the nerves before bedtime.
For other information regarding on how to get rid of paranoia, you can visit BetterHelp. The platform can get you up-to-date with the strategies that may help you sleep better than ever.
That grandiose sense of self-importance that seems to be present in epidemic proportions in our society is related to the worst aspects of workaholism, so was perfectionism. — Timothy A Pychyl Ph.D.
More than ever, the world has seen a large number of workaholics or those who are addicted to their work. Many factors are contributing to one’s work addiction however it doesn’t help that the society, in general, puts a premium on people who sacrifice everything for their work. In addition, with fast pace lifestyle and information overload, everyone is pressured to stay informed and knowledgeable about everything. It doesn’t help that markets are competitive and aggressive.
For the past couple of months, I heard and saw people complain about a lot of stuff. There is the issue of financial and economic burden, personal hygiene safety, social distancing limitations, as well as mental health problems.
Honestly, all of those things are important right at this moment. So I understand that a lot of people are taking things too seriously. But for me, despite the challenging situation, I want to stay emotionally and mentally stable so that I won’t need to call BetterHelp or any counseling platform for help anytime soon.
Here are the things I frequently do to help maintain my mental health during this pandemic.
I Talk Often
Like any other person, my emotional and mental stress rise a few weeks after the Coronavirus outbreak. I also experienced anxiety and loneliness. But after realizing that I need to do something to get back on track, I practice talking, like a lot. I talk to myself in front of the mirror, stating the things I hate about everything that has been going around lately. I often tell myself that I need to prepare for the worst that could happen in the future. I also encourage myself to stay calm and try to be as brave as much as possible. Sometimes, I fail to convince myself that I should not think about the negative things. But when my thoughts are getting out of hand, I try to look for another outlet. Thus, I talk to people digitally.
I call my friends and classmates almost every day to spend time and get personal updates from their lives. I also chat with some of them through social media. I try to socialize digitally more often because it helps reduce my stress. It makes me happy to know that my friends and classmates are okay. Sometimes, I also contact my relatives and ask them about their situation. As they keep me company, I also ensure to encourage them to stay positive during this pandemic.
I Write Things
There are times that I don’t understand my emotions. That is why whenever I feel sad and lonely, I write the things that make me feel that way. Honestly, I don’t know it affects my mental health. But for some reason, when I read the stuff I wrote aloud, there is something inside me that instantly changes my mood. That even if I wrote things that are so painful and devastating, I still feel light and out of stress. There is one time that I wrote a harrowing experience, and reading it twice always makes me cry. But after a few moments, I began to feel motivated, thankful, and happy despite the not-so-encouraging words I put into my writing.
Perhaps not all people are fond of writing or journaling. But I can testify to the excellent mental and emotional benefits it can provide. In uncertain times like this, where social isolation is becoming a thing, journaling can become a lifesaver.
I Take Care Of Myself
One of the most common things that people do is taking care of themselves. But actually, it serves a purpose in keeping the balance of mental and emotional health. As I understand the importance of self-care, I always make sure to do something that benefits my mind and body. I take a shower every time I feel uncomfortable with the hot weather. I always make sure to exercise regularly. I try my best to eat healthy food, and I try to get sleep as much as I need. Honestly, these are all the basics of hygiene and lifestyle. But do not underestimate these habits because they can go a long way in keeping you mentally, emotionally, and physically stable.
Given that the world is experiencing a global health crisis, the uncertainties of everything continues to grow. No one knows how to stop the pandemic, and it seems like everyone is already reaching their limits. The physical, financial, emotional, and mental exhaustion are taking its toll on people’s lives, and they can’t seem to do anything about it. But despite all the negativity out there, one must remember to stay calm. It is essential to understand that staying positive about this whole situation is still the best thing that everybody can do.
Mind Over Matter
The idea of focusing the mind on achieving better things is not only for the purpose of survival in this time of crisis. When people think about positive things, it allows them to develop a strong emotional and mental foundation. It helps in managing decisions that can be useful in addressing current issues along with the pandemic. These include supplies of food and necessities, clothing, shelter, as well as financial needs. When individuals keep their thoughts straight and start looking at better things despite this whole situation, they become more aware of their surroundings. They attract positive outcomes.
Stress is the number one cause of self-destruction. Thus, it is essential to stay away from it, no matter what. Yes, the struggle of keeping a stable mental and emotional health is not easy. And there are times that all the negative things people hear and see become their truth. When that happens, it becomes their reason for quitting. Therefore, individuals must recognize their life stressors to remove it out of their lives. But note, people must take actions one at a time to secure a winning move in getting rid of the stress and anxiety. Yes, the process is not going to be comfortable, and the progress may take quite a while. But it is essential to understand that considering taking a step can make a significant difference.
The Struggle Is Real
In this pandemic situation, people are all anxious and afraid. All the worries they have in mind is eating them up. These individuals can’t see and think clearly because they are blinded by the current hardships and sacrifices they have to make only to survive. There are lots of things they can’t do because of the restrictions they have to follow. Thus, everything in everyone’s lives becomes sedentary and lonely. Humans are known to be free-spirited creatures, and the longer they get restricted to do what they naturally do make them confused and dysfunctional. The more they think about being locked up, the harder they accept and adjust to their current situations.
Ignore Unnecessary Emotions
This situation indeed has a lot of uncertainties, and that includes giving everyone unnecessary emotional responses. Despite the truth that people’s emotions at this time of the pandemic are valid, not all of them are useful. There are unnecessary emotions that only add pressure to the already struggling situation. For example, there is anger. It is quite acceptable that most people can use anger as a way of showing their eagerness for situational control. However, the battle is not between each individual. What everyone is dealing with is not something they can win over a heated argument. Thus, it is useless to depend on anger, given that the virus doesn’t care about that.
Of course, no one can tell how someone should handle this current global health crisis. Every individual is dealing with their own battle. But regardless of that, all should acknowledge that staying calm and positive in this situation is the top priority in securing emotional and mental function.
It has been a routine for me to attend events like the 2017 Work-Life Balance Forum. I don’t expect to hear anything out of the ordinary, but I go anyway because it gives me peace of mind. It is as if a check-in with my therapist. Knowing that I do most of what the guest speakers suggest tells me that I am doing well as a mother and career woman.
Now, in one of these events, a brutally honest speaker phrased ideas in a way that I can’t ever forget. Here are the things that I’ve heard:
Finish Work On Time
Despite the number of things that the boss asks you to do, try to finish work on time. You should not stay in the office for more hours than necessary because it reduces the time left for your family. In case you don’t believe how problematic it is, just look at husbands who cheat or kids who have gone astray due to an ultra-busy wife or mother.
Leave Work At Work
Your work may be making it possible for you to afford the expenses at home, but it is not welcome inside the house. It needs to stay at your workplace where it belongs. This way, your attention won’t deviate from the project when you should be focusing on your loved ones.
Never Get Caught Without A Hobby
Hardworking folks experience burnout since all they do are work-related things. If you feel scared of hating your job someday, then you need to pick a hobby. Such activity can spice up your life and energize you to keep on working.
Looking for a work-life balance is healthy. You love your work, but you also need to feel alive. More importantly, you are a vital member of your family; if you never have time for them, your relationship may fall apart. I am sorry if you still have not found that perfect equilibrium, but things may change once you follow the tips above.
If you are going to ask me one characteristic I love most about my husband, without a blink of an eye, I would say it is his being calm. I admire his ability to manage his emotions even under pressure. This individuality of him allows him to be in control in any situation with a clear mind whether at work or home.
Whenever I am struggling with something, it is my husband who is always there to lift me up. He encourages me with his words and his actions. And through our years together, I have learned that from him, and so we have become each other’s inspiration and encourager. Let me share with you how he does it.
Almost every person who became successful in their chosen field had experienced failure at one point in their lives. Failure of various forms has provided them with valuable benefits that helped them develop a mindset that is fitting to a person who can be successful. It is a mindset that allowed them to keep on pushing forward to reach their goal despite the odds.